Refocusing is soon possible...

Fortunately, and slightly unfortunately, my first class starts on Tuesday. I actually didn't really know that it did...I find it hard to believe that thermodynamics can be taught in one month, but I suppose I've already technically done a lot of it when I took chemical thermodynamics.

I also have to start scrounging money to pay for tuition, which is about 1200 at UCCS (plus 200 for the damn book. Fuckola!), 950 at PPCC (plus 200 for books there, fuckola times 2), for a grand total of about 2600. That's totally ridiculous, I think, but I suppose that it could be worse. I may have to hurt myself finanically for a while, because I don't start getting paid until June--and I obviously don't make a whole lot of money. Perhaps I should hit a couple of my bonds or something like that. I don't want to have to put THAT much money on my credit cards without being able to pay them off really quickly, and I don't think that I yet qualify for an educational loan. Money sucks.

Fortunately, I survived my psychotic episode from a few days ago, as I seem to have re-established control over everything. The unfortuante thing is that the truth is just as disturbing to me now as it was before when I really wasn't willing to admit it. I've accepted that there are certain things that I cannot change, but that doesn't mean that those infallible truths can dictate my actions and my behaviors. I make my decisions, not biology, not fate, not the universe, not other people. Only I can be the rock in my life.

I find it a little upsetting that now is the time for me to start getting some kind of sickness--yesterday I had my characteristic sore throat, and today I've had a cough and a lot of congestion. I don't know for sure yet if its my allergies attacking me or if I caught something at the hospital last week. I find it hard to believe it's the latter because I worked Thursday night and was hit when I woke up Friday morning. Plus, I didn't have my typical bout of bitchiness when I get sick.

So the future does look bright, but, unfortuantely, there will always be the monkey to which I have alluded many times on my many blogs. I have to accept that the monkey is part of who I am, but the monkey doesn't have the power to dictate anything to me. ANYTHING. I also am going to have to accept that I'm not going to have much moeny for a while. Right now, that's slightly more disturbing...

I guess I'll tell you all how thermodynamics goes soon!