Regret?

I'm kind of wondering if I regret these last six months and the choices that I've made in them. I didn't have so much pain then, because it was easy to suppress. I worked a ton of hours and I went to school a ton more, so it was okay to focus on work ALL the time.

Now, my life lacks structure. I have one class a week (that'll change soon), and work doesn't really demand much out of me. I'm working in my spare time on my history work, but it's hard to motivate myself right now. At least when I suppressed who I was, I could use my utter fear to propel me to work harder.

I honestly miss working myself so hard that at the end of the day I was too exhausted to do anything else. I miss getting up at 5 AM and going to bed at 12, not because of any special reason, but because I had to be up early to get to work and late to study. Now, I feel that that has slipped quite a bit.

I wish I could take lessons or something to keep me busy. PPCC has guitar Monday and Wednesday night...that would be nice...

Maybe I should.