So I should take a few moments to clarify that I am sick, and frequently I do not think very well or lucidly when ill.
But what I have to say is a little bit, I dunno, exposing to me. I really don't believe in all that Celtic spirituality stuff I profess to believe in. I don't have a lot of special powers. I made all of it up to cope with the fact that I am undesirable. I say I'm destined by some external force to be alone, when in reality, it's just because I'm not really that lovable.
I will wake up alone at 50, but not because God ordains it so.
Being sick and heartbroken kinda sucks.
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2 comments:
Ray Ray - you just have to make shit happen! I know I don't know jack shit about relationships, but if they are like anything else in life - you gotta get out there. I'm SO excited about my future. Sure I have no idea what career I could ever possibly do, but I'm just going to be opportunistic about whatever comes my way. I'm sorry you're feeling shitty. But really - think how much has happened in the past 22 years of your life - uh, all of it. now imagine the next 28. You have NO idea where you'll be or who you'll be with - no one knows the future - that's the beauty of it - every action we make in the present builds up to make a future. I mean seriously - when you were 5 did you see yourself being who you are and being where you are today? I think I just kinda gave up on figuring that out in my life - everytime I make a plan I seem to go out of my way to break away from it. God forgive my life be normal. It's going to be endless change, and exhausting - but I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. you know I'll listen if you need someone to talk to - it may be tough love and I may not be able to give real advice on shit I don't know anything about, but I'm listening. and seriously - if either of us is going to be a 50 yr old crone- it'll probably be me - if I live that long...and if there isn't a husky/german shepherd in bed with me.
She's got a point . . . dogs make great companions!
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