An Addendum

My sister asked me the other day why I commit myself like this, why I don't just take the easier route, give up, and look elsewhere.

Suffice it to say, my sister has never been in a relationship, and I don't think she'll ever get to the stage of a serious one with that kind of thinking.

These things are NEVER easy. They take hard work, and sometimes they take sacrifice and suffering. Am I tired of suffering? Absolutely. Do I wish that I could just wave a magic wand to make it easy? No. It's not worth anything if it's not worth working for. I will keep doing it, because I'm willing to put the work into this to find out if it works. Sometimes, that work involves waiting a long time for someone to come around. If I didn't think that Thom was someone worth waiting for and working on improving myself for, I wouldn't be going through this.

I bitch here to vent; I cry to release my frustrations; but I do NOT give up.

I do hope sincerely that when he gets over the last guy who hurt him, he looks around and sees that I'm still here, and that I've waited all of this time for the right reasons. If he doesn't, then that's the way life works, and I will go on.

Meanwhile, I start my position at ABC Peds tomorrow--as all of last week was just training. Now, starts the tough part of the job: constant exposure to germies, whiny moms, etc. But it's 4 hours a day, so it's not too much.

Furthermore, I really need to buckle down on ancient history. Today I finish my research for my historiographical paper and I'll compose a tentative outline for my review on Cantarella. Course scheds are coming out Monday, I think. We shall see what awaits my spring semester...