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My Heart Pounds in My Head at the Sound of Your Name

Or that may just be the fact that yesterday I finally got my bodhran DVD, and spent about a half hour playing it this morning.

No, there definitely is the heart pounding going on too...I'm absolutely and completely bonkers over a particular someone. We ended up going to the movies on Tuesday night (Thank goodness, had no class), and we saw Planet 51. That's one of the things I really like about him...he's a kid at heart too. One of his favorite movies is Beauty and the Beast---and one of mine is Pocahontas (have...and regularly sing along to the soundtrack).

Afterwards, we talked for HOURS about Marian theology, world history, etc. It's shocking to have someone so easy to talk to. Being around him makes me so happy, it's hard to stand it.

I kind of wish our conversations could be a little more personal and a little less academic, but that will come.

Whenever I get to this point, I feel reinvigorated, like I know I can wait for him, because I have faith that he'll see me having done this, gone through suffering the long periods without him, and committed to him without reciprocation and doing it only with the hope of someday having it, and realize that I'm someone worth getting to know.

My confidence grows as I realize that I'm getting my wheels spinning--my new job is going come December 1 to pay me enough to live on my own, and I'm going to move out sometime in December or January.

The one thing that's not going is the fact that I am behind on my history paper, a rough draft due Tuesday, and I have no way of writing 12-15 pages on it. Shit. I should go do that.

So I spoke too soon. Last night he asked what I was doing today and wondered if I wanted to go to a movie with him. I said yes and he said he'd get back to me later. That hasn't happened, so I guess he changed his mind.

God particularly likes torturing me.

Tonight's one of those tough nights where I'm really feeling self-pitying. I guess I'll just work on history.

OMG. I just got asked to go to a movie by someone super special. I have butterflies :D

Paucitous Writing: Good Reasons

Busy, busy, busy is the motto of my life right now.

I did finish and turn in my historiographical essay, and after I post this, I'll read more of my book on which I'm presenting (thank God, it's only half that I REALLY have to worry about). I'm going to try to reach page 83 tonight (on 60 right now), and tomorrow I'll get through to about page 120 if possible. I have my lunch hour where I'll do some reading, so that should help.

So, yeah, I have three more days (next two Mondays and this Wednesday) at the prison, and then it's the end of that job and on to full time at the Peds clinic. I kind of wish I made more than 12.20 an hour, but compared to 9 an hour and having to leave more than 15 minutes earlier, I'll take it. I save a TON on gas.

I've had two glasses of white zin tonight. I seriously need to stop drinking that stuff, because it tastes so good that I keep drinking it.

Okay, so I finished the first season of Rome (SOOO GOOD.), and a lot of sewing. My goal is by the end of the second season to have adequately sewn enough on my dolphins to have the top right quadrant done.

Of course, this weekend=research on virgin cults and Mariology in late antique Rome. That and a flu clinic.

By the way, we FINALLY got our shipment of vaccine in, so we're calling parents, setting up clinics, which means extra hours at work for me (YAY!). I also get paid in about two hours (YAY), and I don't have to put a damned penny towards my credit card.


I'm too spastic with this much wine in me. I'm getting off of this computer!

What To Do?

It's 9:30, and I've almost exhausted the amount of things that I can do (key=almost). I finished a draft of my historiographical essay today, and will edit several times tomorrow. Probably one or two whilst at work for the prisons--I have to give them my 2 weeks notice tomorrow too.

I've already read 40 pages out of 200 on my next book for class (due in almost 3 weeks). I'm going to finish it this week and put together my notes for my discussion leadership. After that, I can focus solely on my virgin paper.

Money is irritating. I'm exhausting my savings account to pay off my credit card. I'm supposed to be paid 108 that I've never seen from UCCS, and then this Friday I get paid about $530 from work. Still, that means my savings will only have about $750 in it. Ugh. At least next Friday I get about $153, and then another $500 the week after that. Once I start full time, my pay will be around $900 every two weeks...maybe slightly less than that.

It's hard to believe 2009 is coming to an end.

Ugh, I am so busy on one hand, but so not busy on another. It's frustrating and impossible to describe.

I think I'll watch another episode of Rome before trying to clean my room some and then go to bed.

Life Progress

Finally, things are feeling like they're turning around.

Let's go through the things that I've gone through in the last few days:

1) I just got offered full time at my pediatrics job, which means I'll get at least 40 hours a week, with the opportunity for more with Saturdays 8-12 and flu clinics as our supplies start coming in. Come 2010 (as that's when I'm going to elect into the benefits system), I'll have health care, dental, and vision insurance. Plus, on top of that, I'll be making at least 12.20 an hour. No bitching here.

2) I FINISHED reading my book for class 4 days early, which means the next three can be dedicated towards finishing my historiographical essay. Only two more books to read for class this semester, including my all-time favorite historian and inventor of late antiquity, Peter Brown.

3) I had an awesome time with Thom last weekend, and I sent him flowers that he liked. It's a long, involved story, so I might share that for another night.

4) I got Rome the HBO series in at the library (LOVE IT).

5) My credit card balance as of Monday will be $0.

6) In general, goodwill and glee is to be found. Yay!