So I don't have a lot of time on my internet card, just 10 minutes for now.
Ireland so far has been, of course, wonderful. Thursday, I got in like an hour earlier, and processing at the airport was quick and easy.
Got to my room and then immediately took off for the sights of Dublin. In two days, I've seen Dublin Castle, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Dvblina, Christ-Church, St. Stephen's Green, O'Connell St., Grafton St., Trinity College, and three pubs. I was going to go to a Gaelic football game last night, but I bought the ticket thinking the game was last night, and it turned out that it was a week from yesterday (it's early Sunday here).
Today is the Guinness factory and shop, the Killimahan (that's totally spelled wrong) Gaol, and Phoenix Park. Then tomorrow, I bus my way down to Wicklow to spend the morning there, and then I'll trek over to Glendalough. Tuesday is in the area, and then Wednesday I make my way to Killkenny. Thursday=Waterford, Friday=Cork, Saturday=Killarney and the Ring of Kerry. Next Tuesday promises to be just cloudy right now, but every other day looks to have a lot of rain, and today is EXTREMELY windy.
Well, I need to check hotels in Glendalough. I'll update when I can. Hope all's great for you....
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I don't impress me much
Sigh, I have like 4 days before I leave for Ireland, and I have absolutely nothing ready to go. Actually, that's a little bit of a lie, because I did buy and get in the mail my An Oige membership, which I must have to get into the hostels in Ireland. They also sent me this really informative map/brochure thing that tells me what hostels are open and not.
On top of that, I have three BIG goals to finish within the next few days.
1: finish updating my lab notebook. I'm taking a multi-pronged attack right now, but I am all caught up through June 15...that's not good. I have four more sets of data in June, like 6 in July, and 5 in August. Those I have to have up-to-date by tomorrow afternoon. I then have like 3 in September, 6 in October, 2 in November, 2 in December, and 2 in January to finish.
2: finish editing my biochemistry paper. This is my easiest job.
3: finish and send off my applications to Catholic and Boulder. Boulder is almost done. I just want to finish updating my admissions essays to Boulder and that's it. Then I have to make a few changes to Catholic and that one should be ready.
That's all that's been really happening. I will post more after I get some more work done. Maybe when I scratch one of those three off my list.
On top of that, I have three BIG goals to finish within the next few days.
1: finish updating my lab notebook. I'm taking a multi-pronged attack right now, but I am all caught up through June 15...that's not good. I have four more sets of data in June, like 6 in July, and 5 in August. Those I have to have up-to-date by tomorrow afternoon. I then have like 3 in September, 6 in October, 2 in November, 2 in December, and 2 in January to finish.
2: finish editing my biochemistry paper. This is my easiest job.
3: finish and send off my applications to Catholic and Boulder. Boulder is almost done. I just want to finish updating my admissions essays to Boulder and that's it. Then I have to make a few changes to Catholic and that one should be ready.
That's all that's been really happening. I will post more after I get some more work done. Maybe when I scratch one of those three off my list.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Decisions, Decisions...
So I hate having to make life decisions. My main problem is figuring out what will be my backup if all other backups fail. I mean, seriously, if I don't get into graduate school, what do I do with my life? Colorado Springs isn't exactly the center of American employment...
This week marks the last week at the Language lab. I have a few more hours that I'll squeeze out (at best, maybe three or four). But that won't bring me a lot of money.
I'm starting to make some kind of progress on this whole finishing lab work thing. It's looking much clearer that I have no shot in hell at getting that 20th cell line to stay alive long enough to manipulate it, so I'm going to have to tell them that I just cannot do it, and that I'll be more than happy to get everything done on my other 19 lines as time permits.
I decided not to read Aristotle yet, in part because I want to finish these few books that I have where I read a couple of chapters (they're more like collections of essays than coherent books) first, because they will take less time. Right now, I have about 200 pages left in this atrocious book (thank God I only spent .99 on it) from 1926. Part of it is the style of language which, by modern standards, is offensive, and part is the fact that there are no sources, yet the author claims direct quotation. Note to self: scientists make extremely poor writers...
I don't know how far I will get on my dolphin cross stitch over the next couple of days either, but I'm pretty sure I have no shot in hell at finishing it before I go to Ireland (in 9 DAYS!). I still don't even have all of the dolphins themselves stitched yet. Sigh.
Well, I finished with over five hours of work today, and I have probably about that much tomorrow and Friday. Saturday I'm probably going to pull an 8 hours shift or so.
Here's hoping for the best...
This week marks the last week at the Language lab. I have a few more hours that I'll squeeze out (at best, maybe three or four). But that won't bring me a lot of money.
I'm starting to make some kind of progress on this whole finishing lab work thing. It's looking much clearer that I have no shot in hell at getting that 20th cell line to stay alive long enough to manipulate it, so I'm going to have to tell them that I just cannot do it, and that I'll be more than happy to get everything done on my other 19 lines as time permits.
I decided not to read Aristotle yet, in part because I want to finish these few books that I have where I read a couple of chapters (they're more like collections of essays than coherent books) first, because they will take less time. Right now, I have about 200 pages left in this atrocious book (thank God I only spent .99 on it) from 1926. Part of it is the style of language which, by modern standards, is offensive, and part is the fact that there are no sources, yet the author claims direct quotation. Note to self: scientists make extremely poor writers...
I don't know how far I will get on my dolphin cross stitch over the next couple of days either, but I'm pretty sure I have no shot in hell at finishing it before I go to Ireland (in 9 DAYS!). I still don't even have all of the dolphins themselves stitched yet. Sigh.
Well, I finished with over five hours of work today, and I have probably about that much tomorrow and Friday. Saturday I'm probably going to pull an 8 hours shift or so.
Here's hoping for the best...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Parting thoughts from 2008
I never really summarized my year. Sure, I did a stupid survey thing, but there have been so many changes that have happened to me in the last year, it is so hard to believe that I am where I am today because of those changes.
Really though, the most serious changes came over the past six months or so. I've been reading through my old blog and some of this one, and I'm starting to realize how naive I was with this whole lab experience thing. I mean, the warning signs were all there: it took a month to even process me as a worker in the lab, I seriously thought that I had a shot at getting published, whatever.
I think a huge part of my realization came when I did the Perfect water project. I designed the whole thing, and busted my ass on the project, but ultiamtely, everyone sort of forgot about it, and my boss told me that for financial reasons, I had to stop.
At the same time, the ascendant star of the lab's golden child ruined any chance I had at reestablishing myself. Every possible laboratory resource diverted to him.
The whole not being paid (still waiting...) thing did not incur much confidence, especially when my co-instructor had nothing but thanks and praise for my work.
While the world of tha lab was collapsing around me, I had some severe personal setbacks that, as always, are too private to reveal in such an open environment, and I will have to send it to speculation as to what these problems are. Basically, the period from July 2 to August 2, when all of this lab stuff (plus the stresses of my language lab job) was going on was probably the worst month long period in my life according to all of my personal standards. While there were a few blips outside of this period, the vast majority of my problems occurred in this period.
2008 was another period wherein my confirmation of perpetual solitude resolidified. I am not meant to marry, and the year has shown me the ever present need for me to dedicate myself to my own pursuits. Like Elizabeth, I have learned that I am strongest when I stand alone, and this year probably was the one in which I really understood why.
What has seemed ever so difficult for me, in that, looking on my past, what bothers me the most is still 2004. 2008 may have been bad, but my senior year of high school was no doubt one of my worst periods of life. In part, this was because of the always powerful mixture of hormones, perpetual rejection, and staunch isolation in order to stem the personal malice I felt because of the first two. There was a good period in early 2005 where I just stopped wanting to live, and my guess is that I was in some kind of depression. These issues have been discussed in some detail, but the problem is that I have spent the last years simply covering up many of the underlying problems that led to my despair rather than dealing with them. It, in some cases, is easier because of my maturity. Not only have the surges of teenage hormones stopped (thank the fates for that!), but I care less about what others think of me than I did before. While I require the respect of others, I am not so vain as to hope that other like me (in fact, I prefer hate and respect over love and respect).
But even over four years later, I am still haunted by the memory of Brandon. Even though I barely knew him (I actually only have one memory, and it was one of those staunch and haughty memories of mine, where I, with my nose pointed high, gloated at knowing some banal fact that made me look intelligent), the whole three months that I spent on his portrait after his death made me know this person without ever knowing him. Perhaps part of the problem is that I have always longed for some kind of encounter, despite the fact that I do not believe in an afterlife. Normally, we have memories, but my one memory is so opaque as to render any such warm thoughts useless.
I have become more serious as I have gotten older. While I can be made to laugh easily, I always consider the more serious elements of life first, and what I find most humorous is the ironic twist of life.
I don't know anymore. Sometimes it would be best, I think, to be locked away someplace....
Really though, the most serious changes came over the past six months or so. I've been reading through my old blog and some of this one, and I'm starting to realize how naive I was with this whole lab experience thing. I mean, the warning signs were all there: it took a month to even process me as a worker in the lab, I seriously thought that I had a shot at getting published, whatever.
I think a huge part of my realization came when I did the Perfect water project. I designed the whole thing, and busted my ass on the project, but ultiamtely, everyone sort of forgot about it, and my boss told me that for financial reasons, I had to stop.
At the same time, the ascendant star of the lab's golden child ruined any chance I had at reestablishing myself. Every possible laboratory resource diverted to him.
The whole not being paid (still waiting...) thing did not incur much confidence, especially when my co-instructor had nothing but thanks and praise for my work.
While the world of tha lab was collapsing around me, I had some severe personal setbacks that, as always, are too private to reveal in such an open environment, and I will have to send it to speculation as to what these problems are. Basically, the period from July 2 to August 2, when all of this lab stuff (plus the stresses of my language lab job) was going on was probably the worst month long period in my life according to all of my personal standards. While there were a few blips outside of this period, the vast majority of my problems occurred in this period.
2008 was another period wherein my confirmation of perpetual solitude resolidified. I am not meant to marry, and the year has shown me the ever present need for me to dedicate myself to my own pursuits. Like Elizabeth, I have learned that I am strongest when I stand alone, and this year probably was the one in which I really understood why.
What has seemed ever so difficult for me, in that, looking on my past, what bothers me the most is still 2004. 2008 may have been bad, but my senior year of high school was no doubt one of my worst periods of life. In part, this was because of the always powerful mixture of hormones, perpetual rejection, and staunch isolation in order to stem the personal malice I felt because of the first two. There was a good period in early 2005 where I just stopped wanting to live, and my guess is that I was in some kind of depression. These issues have been discussed in some detail, but the problem is that I have spent the last years simply covering up many of the underlying problems that led to my despair rather than dealing with them. It, in some cases, is easier because of my maturity. Not only have the surges of teenage hormones stopped (thank the fates for that!), but I care less about what others think of me than I did before. While I require the respect of others, I am not so vain as to hope that other like me (in fact, I prefer hate and respect over love and respect).
But even over four years later, I am still haunted by the memory of Brandon. Even though I barely knew him (I actually only have one memory, and it was one of those staunch and haughty memories of mine, where I, with my nose pointed high, gloated at knowing some banal fact that made me look intelligent), the whole three months that I spent on his portrait after his death made me know this person without ever knowing him. Perhaps part of the problem is that I have always longed for some kind of encounter, despite the fact that I do not believe in an afterlife. Normally, we have memories, but my one memory is so opaque as to render any such warm thoughts useless.
I have become more serious as I have gotten older. While I can be made to laugh easily, I always consider the more serious elements of life first, and what I find most humorous is the ironic twist of life.
I don't know anymore. Sometimes it would be best, I think, to be locked away someplace....
Saturday, January 10, 2009
So....now what?
This is the finishing time...on so many things.
First of all, I finished watching the Tudors, season 2. Unfortuantely season 3 doesn't even start airing for another three months, so I'm going to have to wait on Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, and the beginning of Katherine Howard for another few months. Hopefully, someone will post it on youtube or something.
I have to say though, I have seen so many heads cut off....Thomas More, Cardinal John Fisher, Anne Boleyn, George Boleyn, Henry Norris, Brerrington, Smeaton (who actually was hung, drawn, and quartered).
That's not even half of what there is. Thomas Cromwell, Katherine Howard, the Seymour brothers, about 200 conspirators against Mary, and a few others still have heads that have to roll.
Second, I finished Boston College today, and I have to finish Iowa tomorrow. This week, I definitely hope to finish my two to Catholic and Boulder.
Third, I am like 70 pages away from finishing my current book, which will notch me down to 31 to read. Next on the docket: Aristotle's Ethics.
This week promises the end of my lab research (hopefully), or at least something really close to it.
Finally, it looks like I'm going to have all of my data on my biochemistry paper done.
This week also is my last week of work in the language tech center....
Sigh.
First of all, I finished watching the Tudors, season 2. Unfortuantely season 3 doesn't even start airing for another three months, so I'm going to have to wait on Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, and the beginning of Katherine Howard for another few months. Hopefully, someone will post it on youtube or something.
I have to say though, I have seen so many heads cut off....Thomas More, Cardinal John Fisher, Anne Boleyn, George Boleyn, Henry Norris, Brerrington, Smeaton (who actually was hung, drawn, and quartered).
That's not even half of what there is. Thomas Cromwell, Katherine Howard, the Seymour brothers, about 200 conspirators against Mary, and a few others still have heads that have to roll.
Second, I finished Boston College today, and I have to finish Iowa tomorrow. This week, I definitely hope to finish my two to Catholic and Boulder.
Third, I am like 70 pages away from finishing my current book, which will notch me down to 31 to read. Next on the docket: Aristotle's Ethics.
This week promises the end of my lab research (hopefully), or at least something really close to it.
Finally, it looks like I'm going to have all of my data on my biochemistry paper done.
This week also is my last week of work in the language tech center....
Sigh.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Somewhere between blah and meh
I, again, am a woeful updater of sorts; one who given ample opportunity to write something, anything, chooses instead to flounder in the world. Like a flounder, floundering in the world.
Anyways, the last few days have had their share of ups and downs. Several fantastic ups, and several eh downs. I'll bitch first, methinks:
1. I have had absolutely no access to the internet after 8 PM for the last like 5 or six days. Very trying. In part because after 8 PM is the time that I use to post anything that might be private. Instead, my dad has been sleeping in the den, and the chair that he sleeps in is like right next to the computer. It has been a little irritating, because normally that doesn't bother me too much. Usually, at some point during the day, I have some time to myself in the house, but that hasn't been the case for over a week.
2. I have this bizarre lump behind my jawbone under my right earlobe. I see three possibilities:
abscess, cancer, or tumor. None of these are high on my list of things to have.
3. I now have a damn wart on my middle finger of my right hand. I guess that's what I get for using it to flip people off when I drive.
4. I have too many things to do work-wise in the next two weeks, in addition to finishing my apps for Boston College, Catholic, and Iowa. By the way, I REALLY want to go to Boston College. I doubt I'll get in, but I would LOVE going there.
Fantastical things:
1. Remember that Thomas Jefferson award I was so blase about two months ago? WELL I WON IT! WOOT! That's like $2000 that I'll be getting, plus a cool plaque, another line on my CV, and a free(ish) lunch in Boulder.
2. I now have 19 cell lines done....one to go!
3. My grad school apps are ALMOST DONE.....
4. I'm not destitute!
Anyways, the last few days have had their share of ups and downs. Several fantastic ups, and several eh downs. I'll bitch first, methinks:
1. I have had absolutely no access to the internet after 8 PM for the last like 5 or six days. Very trying. In part because after 8 PM is the time that I use to post anything that might be private. Instead, my dad has been sleeping in the den, and the chair that he sleeps in is like right next to the computer. It has been a little irritating, because normally that doesn't bother me too much. Usually, at some point during the day, I have some time to myself in the house, but that hasn't been the case for over a week.
2. I have this bizarre lump behind my jawbone under my right earlobe. I see three possibilities:
abscess, cancer, or tumor. None of these are high on my list of things to have.
3. I now have a damn wart on my middle finger of my right hand. I guess that's what I get for using it to flip people off when I drive.
4. I have too many things to do work-wise in the next two weeks, in addition to finishing my apps for Boston College, Catholic, and Iowa. By the way, I REALLY want to go to Boston College. I doubt I'll get in, but I would LOVE going there.
Fantastical things:
1. Remember that Thomas Jefferson award I was so blase about two months ago? WELL I WON IT! WOOT! That's like $2000 that I'll be getting, plus a cool plaque, another line on my CV, and a free(ish) lunch in Boulder.
2. I now have 19 cell lines done....one to go!
3. My grad school apps are ALMOST DONE.....
4. I'm not destitute!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Reverting to old habits
No, I have not purchased a book or any sewing materials; however, I have not updated this blog for such a long time, that I think it my pertinent obligation to do so at this time.
I must say that I have made some progress. I just about finished another of my four dolphins. The problem is that the cross stitch I am working on right now is like 200 x 400 stitches, and I take forever doing stitches. At best, I think I probably have about two or three thousand out of over 80,000 stitches done.
Bookwise, however, things appear to be going much better. I finished my book on the Fall of the Roman Empire about three days ago now, and then I also finished a book on the Norman Conquest two days ago. I started Mary Luke's A Crown for Elizabeth (which so far is much more about Mary Tudor than Elizabeth), and already, I must admit that I have much more sympathy for her than I ever did. I've always been amazed at Elizabeth's tenure as queen, and Mary always is treated as a failure and condemned for her purges of upper society of Protestantism.
Work looks to be winding down severely now. I think I'm going to re-run several sets of cells, as my experiments on Monday were not that great on certain sectors. Basically, however, I am now at least 95% done with my lab-work. Of course, I now just found out that the other reason that my other cells don't grow is because our protein concentrations are supposed to be double what they are in the doubled media.
Plus, I just recently confirmed my suspicions that one of the cell lines I work with contains the virus responsible for cervical and certain types of uterine, penile, and anal cancers. Wunderbar.
Well, at least if any of these pop up, I can always claim that it was from the cells that I worked with. On the other hand though, I have to assume that because I did not move up to the P2 level, that I am at least a carrier for the virus. Convenient excuse for never getting married: I can't get married because I'll give you HPV.
The great horrible thing I have not done: I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED GRAD SCHOOL STATEMENTS OF PURPOSE! GAH!
I must say that I have made some progress. I just about finished another of my four dolphins. The problem is that the cross stitch I am working on right now is like 200 x 400 stitches, and I take forever doing stitches. At best, I think I probably have about two or three thousand out of over 80,000 stitches done.
Bookwise, however, things appear to be going much better. I finished my book on the Fall of the Roman Empire about three days ago now, and then I also finished a book on the Norman Conquest two days ago. I started Mary Luke's A Crown for Elizabeth (which so far is much more about Mary Tudor than Elizabeth), and already, I must admit that I have much more sympathy for her than I ever did. I've always been amazed at Elizabeth's tenure as queen, and Mary always is treated as a failure and condemned for her purges of upper society of Protestantism.
Work looks to be winding down severely now. I think I'm going to re-run several sets of cells, as my experiments on Monday were not that great on certain sectors. Basically, however, I am now at least 95% done with my lab-work. Of course, I now just found out that the other reason that my other cells don't grow is because our protein concentrations are supposed to be double what they are in the doubled media.
Plus, I just recently confirmed my suspicions that one of the cell lines I work with contains the virus responsible for cervical and certain types of uterine, penile, and anal cancers. Wunderbar.
Well, at least if any of these pop up, I can always claim that it was from the cells that I worked with. On the other hand though, I have to assume that because I did not move up to the P2 level, that I am at least a carrier for the virus. Convenient excuse for never getting married: I can't get married because I'll give you HPV.
The great horrible thing I have not done: I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED GRAD SCHOOL STATEMENTS OF PURPOSE! GAH!
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